A letter of complaint to the Library Manager

29 Nov

Dear Sir,

Are you aware that constant and unexpected erections are an indication of healthy male bodily function? If you weren’t aware of this common known fact, you are now.

The reason I bring this to your attention is because I was rudely escorted out of the library yesterday, simply because I had an erection. I admit that wearing jogging pants made the erection much more obvious, but I like to dress casually during the daytime and shouldn’t be judged for doing so.

I feel that I was discriminated against, simply because I have an extremely healthy sex drive. I can’t always control the way specific body parts react within a certain environment. I was made to feel as if I was some type of pervert, and this isn’t the way our society should function. Are you so sexually immature that you consider the natural chemistry of the human body to be ‘lewd behavior’?

It’s not fair that my library borrowing privileges have been revoked and I’d like to be reinstated with a clean slate. I’d prefer not to get my lawyer involved, but will not hesitate to do so.

On a personal note, it might be in your best interest to become better acclimated to your own sexuality. Then, maybe you won’t be so offended by those of us who have an open mind to the human body’s proper sexual functions.

I guess I’ll see you around; either back at the library, or in court. The choice is yours.

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