It Doesn’t Stay in Vegas

Just like everyone else on this planet, senior citizens must earn my respect. Also, I don't agree with them getting special discounts. 22 hours ago
Was just kicked out of Victoria's Secret after being accused of having a noticeable erection. In my defense, I've had much larger erections. 22 hours ago
5 minutes - The maximum acceptable amount of time to do coke in a public washroom. The urinary needs of others must be respected! 1 day ago
Sometimes when I find out a person has kids, I can't help but wonder "under what circumstances could this person have possibly had sex?" 1 day ago
The search history on my mother's computer is very unsettling. What a hypocrite she is for insulting my stance on daily masturbation. 1 day ago
@helayneexplains @BellagioLV I've had far too many encounters that I don't remember due to being under the influence. Have fun in #Vegas! 1 day ago
I wonder how many dudes have straight up blown another dude to the point of ejaculation in a crowded movie theater? People can be so vulgar. 2 days ago
A sexual relationship between two Hawaiians would be difficult due to their high degree of laziness. They're not generous lovers. 2 days ago
@AndrewTLeBlanc Find some influential members of the local minority community to testify on your behalf. No jury wants to be seen as racist. 2 days ago
Going to #Vegas this summer? 'It Doesn't Stay in Vegas - The Saga of The Unorthodox Gentleman' is a must read - amzn.to/QzyHvg 2 days ago